dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I didn't notice because vodka
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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