Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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