Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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