Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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