first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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