I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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