What did we do last night that was yellow?
that's an acceptable place to lick
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
How's work?
Spinning.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
