I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Randomize
