this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
All I want is dick and wine.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
