My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
