I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
