The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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