he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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