worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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