yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize