The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
