i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
