Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
