I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
