We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
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