Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
