HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Randomize