So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
