I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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