just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
