I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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