so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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