i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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