I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
