We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
