Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
