she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize