I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
