pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
