Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
there's paper in my vomit.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
