Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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