I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
