How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
