Im at strip club and am horny
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
You may now shotgun with the bride
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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