dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
