Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
