Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
