he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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