Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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