do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
