he puts the penis in happiness.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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