Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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