Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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