I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
