Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize