She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
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