just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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