trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
