I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
