SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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