whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
