...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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