I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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