are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Randomize
